Wandering. Someone described it as the space in which you come from and where you want to go.
In life, we hardly get from point A to point B in a heartbeat. We desire to get married, and yet we have to date a few people before we find someone to be serious with. We desire a position that will help us be financially stable and will stimulate us, but we’ll work many smaller jobs before we land that “dream job.”
Due to the economy, current culture trends, and whatever the case may be, there are many of us who are wandering. This was never necessarily a bad thing.
We take the situation that happened with the Israelites. We read that they wandered for 40 years in the desert. We read that they also continued to forget about God and all the little miracles done during the journey. There was much complaining and moaning. “When are we ever going to get out of this?”
Oh, how I know that feeling. I’ve been underemployed for the last….nine years. I definitely chose most of those years to be underemployed. I have been involved with the non-profit world for about six years and other employment has involved work with the church, which usually doesn’t promise high earnings.
I have agreed to be an underpaid worker. I have always desired to serve God full time and work specifically with churches and non-profits.
….I just hope that I can find some position that will help me have a family.
As I reflected on all the possibilities, and what I have done so far, I do see that God has never left me. Some set backs have occurred and maturing has developed. Yes, I have felt lots of impatience, and I supposed I am feeling some right now. I want to work in a position I see fit for myself RIGHT NOW.
Why the wait, God?
A pastor by the name of Gene Appel said that Christians need to understand that the 40 years in the desert for the people of Israel was an important time. They didn’t know when God was going to say, “You have arrived.” In fact, biblical scholars say that the numbers in the bible tend to be more than literal, but spiritually significant. The number 40 is a number that stands for “a very long time.” So who could really know the exact time the Israelites were lead in the desert?
It was an important time because God was able to just be with them. God was not making relationships with other nations, or at least that is what seemed to be happening. The people were being given this opportunity to bond as a nation, and to bond with God. The people were also being tested and possibly their doubts and frustrations wear only indicators that they would not be ready to move forward with God’s plan. This does seem slightly counter-productive since the Israelites really had no idea how long the journey was going to be. If only they understood the length of time it was going to take, would that have made them more hopeful?
Pastor Appel said, “Will you follow God even though you don’t understand and you don’t know how long?”
Some days it’s a no. I’ll not pray as much, I’ll let myself over eat or feel depressed. Other days, I’m positive and trusting. I’ll do the work I need to do: search out a position, contact people, do follow ups, go on dates. I will move forward knowing God is guiding.
I’m praying I have more positive days. But there is that whole aspect of time wearing someone out. It feels so long after a few years. It feels disheartening to keep trying.
I guess at times like these we need to say out loud a frequent sentence found in the Psalms of the Old Testament:
“O Lord, make haste to help me!”
- The Soul in Depression: A Podcast on using the Psalms as part of the healing process of depression.
- wandering… : A simple statement from a blogger about the necessity of wandering.
- How to Quit Wandering : A more in-depth look at the benefits of wandering.
- The Story: Wandering: this blog is posting each chapter of THE STORY, the same book Gene Appel is using for his church, Eastside Christian Church.